So… I started a tumblr today. I don’t really get that social media site but I’ve decided to learn it by using it. So far it just seems like a blogging site where its ok to just post random crap you steal off of other peoples’ blogs of random crap. But I’m kind of ok with that. Some things may end up cross posted or no…. idk. Not that it really matters.
This day, this week was all totally going fine. The three day weekend turned it into an automatically short week and that was nice. Yesterday flew by and I actually stayed at work for the correct amount of hours in one day if not a little extra. Greg’s first night of working until 10 pm was not super painful for me.. the evening actually went rather quickly. Today was fine again.. mornings are always a little easier if you haven’t slept in the day before. I painted my nails so that feels pretty. My morning at work flew by so quickly that I almost forgot to attend the only scheduled item on my calendar,a super super boring lunchtime webinar. And then, in checking in with my boss about said webinar and work in general, she said something about youth at our agency disclosing that they need my services and not wanting to come to me vs the team that works out of a car on the street. Now, I don’t know, I kind of understand how that makes sense to the youth. But 2 things I don’t completely understand are 1. why the staff member gave the youth options when the service definitely fell into the category of my services 2. why said statement made me feel like such a complete failure that I now want to climb into a hole and cry. Lesigh. My boss keeps urging me to be more visable to the youth, to be present at their activities and when I express my concern- I don’t know what that would look like, can you give me a constructive example of that taking place etc etc etc, and when my outreach to other staff people goes unanswered, I’m just really not quite sure how to handle it. I think some of the interns just go hang out in the staff office in the drop in center but I don’t actually feel completely welcomed by that? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m struggling with this in my job because it is something I already struggle with as an individual. Social situations I’m unfamiliar with make me feel awkward and anxious and is now a requirement of my job. Which makes me feel like a failure because I guess I should have already been doing this? I don’t really know… Anyways, so theres the depressed post for today. 😦